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The current year represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end contact with a romantic interest without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, seeking a mate has only become more confounding – an commonly fruitless exercise in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” pushing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive guide to the terms Zoomers is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Realness – According to gen Z, romance's ideal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Feathered friend test – A social media test inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your date's reaction is inquisitive or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while radiating enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This refers to choosing someone who supports you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do low-cost romance in a post-cheap-date world.

Emotional spiral – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to couples who choose against parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Vulnerable signaling – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits suggesting a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions validate your decision to date a mate. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (few things builds intimacy faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group many young men listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that immediately shut down any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd opt for partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more nurturing among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {